Sent in by Jack DeWitt

 

 

Military Wisdom
 

"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher
 fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular
 in what's left of your unit."

                - Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

 "Aim towards the Enemy."
- Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher

---------------------------------------------------------------------

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.

                 - U.S. Marine Corps
---------------------------------------------------------------------

 "Cluster bombing from B-52s are very, very accurate.
The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground."

              - USAF Ammo Troop
------------------------------------------------------------------

 "If the enemy is in range, so are you."

 Infantry Journal


---------------------------------------------------------------------

 "It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over
 the area you just bombed."

  - U.S. Air Force Manual

---------------------------------------------------------------------
 "Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword
 obviously never encountered automatic weapons."

               - General Macarthur

---------------------------------------------------------------------

 "Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo."

                 - Infantry Journal

---------------------------------------------------------------------

 "You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come
 with me."

                - U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.
---------------------------------------------------------------------

 "Tracers work both ways."

                - U.S. Army Ordnance

------------------------------------------------------------------

 "Five second fuses only last three seconds."

                 - Infantry Journal
---------------------------------------------------------------------

 "Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and
don't ever volunteer to do anything."

                - U.S. Navy Swabbie

---------------------------------------------------------------------
 "Bravery is being the only one who knows you're
afraid."

                  - David Hackworth

---------------------------------------------------------------------

 "If your attack is going too well, your walking into
 an ambush."

                 - Infantry Journal

---------------------------------------------------------------------

 "No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."

                - Joe Gay

---------------------------------------------------------------------
 "Any ship can be a minesweeper... once."

                                    - Anonymous
---------------------------------------------------------------------

 "Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to
do."

                - Unknown Marine Recruit

---------------------------------------------------------------------


"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."

                 - Your Buddies


---------------------------------------------------------------------
 "If you see a bomb technician running, follow him."

                 - USAF Ammo Troop
--------------------------------------------------------------------
 "Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death ... I Shall
Fear No Evil. For  I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."

 At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base at
 Kadena, Japan
-------------------------------------------------------------------
 "You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3."

                - Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)
---------------------------------------------------------------------

 "The only time you have too much fuel is when you're
on fire."
---------------------------------------------------------------------

 "Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the
 ocean than submarines in the sky."

                 - From an old carrier sailor
---------------------------------------------------------------------


 "If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage,
it's probably a helicopter and therefore, unsafe."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
 "When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you
 always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."

---------------------------------------------------------------------


 "Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another
 expensive flying club."

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"What is the similarity between air traffic
controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up,
 the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, ...  the pilot dies."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
 "Never trade luck for skill."

---------------------------------------------------------------------
The three most common expressions (or famous last
words) in aviation are: "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?"
 and "Oh Shit!"


---------------------------------------------------------------------

"Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers."

---------------------------------------------------------------------
 "Progress in airline flying: Now a flight attendant
 can get a pilot pregnant."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
"Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed
 to successfully complete the flight."

---------------------------------------------------------------------
  "A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all
 luck; three in a row is prevarication."
---------------------------------------------------------------------

 "I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
 "Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never
left one up there!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------
"Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a
 flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries."

---------------------------------------------------------------------
 "Flying the airplane is more important than radioing
 your plight to a person on the ground incapable of
 understanding or  doing anything abou it."

------------------------------------------------------------------------
 "When a flight is proceeding incredibly well,
 something was forgotten."

---------------------------------------------------------------------
 "Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your
 funeral will be held on a sunny day."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
 Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII: "When a prang
 (crash) seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest
object in the vicinity as slow and gently as possible."

---------------------------------------------------------------------
 "The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it
 can just barely kill you."

              - Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
---------------------------------------------------------------------

 "A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't
 flying his plane to its maximum."

                 - Jon McBride, astronaut

---------------------------------------------------------------------

 "If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing
as far into the crash as possible."

               - Bob Hoover (renowned aerobatic and test pilot)
---------------------------------------------------------------------


 "Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver
than you."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
 "There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in
 peacetime."

 - Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB,
AZ,

--------------------------------------------------------------------
 "If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's
 about to."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
 Basic Flying Rules: "Try to stay in the middle of the
 air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be
recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and
 interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"You know that your landing gear is up and locked when
 it takes full power to taxi to the terminal."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
 As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn
 off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives,
The rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks "What  happened?" The
pilot's reply:

 "I don't know, I just got here myself!"

             - Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)
________________________________